Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
