I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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