Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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