His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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