I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
