Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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