holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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