Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
