whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
