I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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