Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize