I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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