If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
