Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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