Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
