I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize