This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love having hate sex.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
