If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
