tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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