dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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