This dress was meant to end up on your floor
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
