It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
