phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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