one might say we're banned from that church
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
