How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
