haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm getting married
To pizza
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
