Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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