Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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