she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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