By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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