I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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