we have pet lesbian snakes
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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