I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
