i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
