these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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