What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
