Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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