i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
