My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
