the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
