need another drink. this is the easiest way
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
