so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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