the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
