my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i will never coherently bang her
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
