.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
