I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
