is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
