wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
