She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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