Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
