Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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