I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
