I just cut my nipple shaving
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
