Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh god it's open bar.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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