with your own penis?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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