afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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