We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
