i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
